Attention Herbert Hoover

Dear Herbert,




Is it okay if I call you Herbert? Well I just did so if it’s not- oh well! Plus you’re dead so…sorry about that but according to current rumor your memory has been stripped and you are now living in an undisclosed location BUT just in case you are still in the loop I thought I’d give you an update.



Remember those dossiers you kept on oh so many if not all of us- you know the ones those beatnik-hippie-flower-power-types gave you so much crap about even after you were dead?



Well sir you’ll be gratified to know their children and their children’s children have completely embraced the concept.



Shocking I know- so I hope you’re sitting down and wearing a dainty frock for this.



Oh and if the dress thing was just a vicious rumor then I take back my last comment but the truth is sir: if you liked wearing dresses then I hope you got to be put in a woman’s body for your next round trip. After all you did for your country - you earned it.



The dream of citizen dossiers has finally come true. I know you always knew the day would come so maybe its not such a shocker but here‘s the twist: would you believe the citizens themselves are creating them? I myself have created a substantial dossier on myself including pictures, thoughts, beliefs, preferences, contacts, former contacts.



Future contacts?



No that’s the job of the N(A)SA and I wouldn’t want to step on any toes.



Plus would you believe it all happened just like President Jelly Bean said it would? I don’t know if you and President Jelly Bean ever met formally but I feel sure his dossier made for interesting reading. He was an actor after all. Since I think you missed that chapter I’ll fill in the blanks. Redemption went like this: Profits are the ultimate good.



But that wasn’t a very catchy jiggle so someone wrote him great lines about a city on a hill and that we could spend our way to it. Actually he said we’d spend our way out of debt. Sounds like something out of Alice’s not so wonderful trip to a deck of cards doesn’t it?



See by the time President Jelly Bean came around Coke was no longer a delightful beverage which made voodoo economics much more appealing and nearly everyone bought the lines as President delivered them so very well.



Fastforward and here we are today on verge of an IPO for something called the book of faces: the ultimate synergy of citizenry and commerce. Imagine it sir: intelligence gathering, entertainment and profits all wrapped into one. Though you and President Jelly Bean “died” the “dreams” didn’t die with you but are alive and well and living in SIM cards everywhere.



It’s beyond anything you ever dreamed about for if the zoot suits ever do a round up they’ll know just who to look for, where and through whom but really it would and does make more sense simply to route and/or reroute, deny and prevent access or provide it this way and that. Perhaps in such matters it’ll earn the players more points or more chips- as whatever their form they’re largely one and the same.



Gotta pay that guy at Styx after all -or at the very least keep up with Joneses on Quasar 5.



Lastly Herbert I hope you’re enjoying the educational programming President Jelly Bean willed you: Strawberry Shortcake. But I suggest not following their fashion sense- one girl to another. That and should you and President Jelly Bean ever meet towards the hike to Big Rock Candy Mountain: Beware! I hear Ike is still broadcasting and suspect he’s none too pleased at a blind march toward a military-industrial-social-network-entertainment- program.



I know, like anyone would ever watch that show!



Sincerely,



Anonymous

(As if !)

PS: (Ididn't) disabledland.com/dandruff-is-a-germ-disease-newbros-herpicide-1900
PPS:(Idid) http://beholdtherelish.blogspot.com/2011/10/herbies-purple-shoes.html

Herbie's Purple Shoes

PS:


10.10.11: News Update:



Actually its old news: Habeas Corpus died.



Of course there’s no headstone for Habeas and I don’t know if there was a funeral or if the Corpus family would dare attend because of how Habeas died.



Of course the reliability of this report is contingent on the media I receive but according to the media I receive an American was executed without trial by a drone flying not over American soil, but new world order sand.



Which means its-time-to-do-the-time-warp-again.



Remember “The List”? The Enemies List.



The enemies list belonging to your pal Dick? (Nixon not Cheney) Back before SIM cards you could follow Listees around, have the IRS audit them yearly. There were lots of them but I wonder how many priests were on the list?



I know. That information is classified and what with your stripped memory you don‘t remember anyway but wow what you could have done with that list in a post 911 corporately unwritten world.



I knew one of the priests on The List- one of those hippie, questioning authority, power to all the people types- he even included women on that people list. He made it onto “Nixon’s Enemies List”. Back then you could call the listees a name like “Commies” put ‘em on a list and watch ‘em, give ‘em a hard time but you couldn’t call them commie and just have them killed. Although who knows maybe you did and we just never heard about it, or maybe you just sent some of them to Vietnam.



Now however after 911 a new word came into fashion: terrorist. And that has become a very special word giving special powers to special people who deem themselves as very, very special.



Everybody’s using the word, the name: Terrorist. Call someone a terrorist and be you a Middle Eastern dictator or the Leader of the allegedly, and now officially former, Free World: you can just call someone a name, ’that’ name and have them killed. That’s how Habeas died.



His name wasn’t Habeas, I don’t know his name. What I do know, or at least what I’ve been told, he was on a List, next to his name was a word: terrorist. Or so we’re told.



Oh- he was an American. Did I mention that?



Rather an important detail him being an American because having been born here and his family having fought wars and paid taxes meant he was supposed to be entitle to face his accusers. That’s what his lineage was supposed to have bought him and his forward but the contract has been altered.



I know! Like how happy would that have made you and Dick if you could have just killed everyone on “The Enemy List”. No trial- just call them a name, give the order and the trouble maker is gone- and not gone to Canada or Europe gone but maybe not forgotten but executed without trial never to be bothersome again.



Oh did I mention the no trial thing?



Should have as that was a rather important nuance to this latest development in pursuit of the Nixon Cheney Double Dick Dream: President as King.



Two Dick’s one dream.



How could this be worse for civil libbers like me?



America’s first black President pressed the button.



Not that he actually pressed the button, no that job belonged to some guy or gal with an affinity for videogames. That’s the new system: the Presi-king calls you a name, someone playing a videogame remotes a Pentag(on/ram) toy. The human drone pushes a button signaling the metallic drone to kill, neither drone questions the order and one of the drones hopes s/he does get caught in rush hour traffic.



Today the name/the accusation of terrorist and anyone can be killed but tomorrow, under these rules, it could conceivably be having allegedly worn purple shoes.



“We have purple-shoe-wearers in our midst -do not be alarmed when armed drones (robotic or flesh variety) appear and execute the purple shoe wearers on sight.”



I know Herbert, purple shoes are a problem. They go well with navy blue but can be a bit loud with black and you really have to know who you are to wear purple shoes. Personally I don’t think anyone should be killing anyone because the King says your shoes are purple. Ones person‘s purple is another person‘s aubergine. Such are, and always were and will be, the problems that come with having Kings, be they Presi-kings or just plain Dicks.



For instance: your shoes are lapis, or worse eggplant …though the worst is when you’re wearing chartreuse shoes and yet the King is pointing a finger at you proclaiming you’re a purple-shoe-wearer when your shoes are clearly chartreuse.



That happens with Kings, as well as Queens because there’s nothing you can do to prove yourself to not be a purple-shoe-wearer and that you were and are in fact wearing green shoes which can not be confused with lapis therefore this talk of purple shoes is unjust!



You know you’re not wearing purple shoes, heck the King may even know you’re not wearing purple shoes but now, now in America the Presi-king can declare anyone s/he wants: a purple-shoe-wearer and they’re very clearly nearly dead. So today, yet again, some King, or Queen can say “H(is/er) shoes are purple - off with h(er/is) head!“



But of course no one uses axes anymore.



A kill order is signed, a few phone calls and/or emails are made and a drone takes off from somewhere and someone who makes a point of not thinking about they did at the office/base pretends its all just a videogame.



That’s pretty much how Habeas became a corpse Herbie. An American Presi-king created a precedent. There had been a previous precedent Presi-king, see that’s how all this started “military tribunals” which broke the law but Americans didn’t much care because the purple-shoe-wearers/terrorists were foreigners so trying them a) without a trial and b) outside of America was no threat to American non-purple-shoe-wearers.



The Next step was killing an American citizen without trial…abroad. See that was very important because there’s an acceptance curve occurring.



Here‘s what happens next- I‘d say they‘ll wait a good decade or two before pulling the next maneuver to absolute power:



Drone kills of Americans (purple-shoe-wearers/terrorists) -not off American soil- but on.



Herbie, I realize they’ll have been called purple-shoe-wearers but me I’m old fashioned: I want to see the shoes. I don’t want some guy or gal saying “The shoes are purple really they are- trust me the shoes are purple”. No- I want to see the shoes.



M(r./iss) Hoover I know all this talk of shoes probably has you wanting to see if you have an appropriate handbag for the occasion so I‘ll wind up this long PS.



Be sure to cross check your color palette in broad daylight because we girls have all been there. You think the attire matches but in broad daylight you find your black separates not only don’t exactly match but don’t even blend, sometimes they can actually clash. One black isn’t in the same family of black as the other black and then where are you! Wearing black and not quite black but not close enough to grey for the outfit to work.



So check your black facts against sunlight as it’s the only way to be sure.



That and should you ever the visit the grave, the site, the spot -perhaps simply the date or maybe should you just want to give a nod to what we’ve lost: wear your purple shoes.