Information previously deemed classified: Subtitle: Y I still get anxious and hostile regarding coincidences involving the other condiment

More than one thing can occur at the same time and if your life has been fortunate enough not to know that- then congratulations and if you can’t accept that first premise then there’s really no point in reading further.

Yes, I could have gone back to Canada but due to the events chronicled and posted in I m not a terrorist (  I wasn‘t entirely comfortable with that.- and yes, I was afraid something weird might happen. Funny how in trying to avoid weird I went straight into the eye of weirdness. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, though the truth is just like in Alabama I didn’t consider the full range of possible consequences or even the idea that there might be. Twoie was and still maybe a massage therapist who specialize(s/d) in cranial-sacral work and who also did and does energy work, it’s how she works and she did erase whatever the Atlantan osteopath had screwed up thereby making it possible for me to return to school.

So it’s a week or so before Easter 2006 and Twoie and I make sure I get an appointment with her before she leaves for a couple weeks in France. She does the usual as well as some energy work on my heart chakra in particular but we’d been working on them for months. We talk about her upcoming trip to France courtesy of a couple whose house she furnished; she’d downsized whilst they‘d just bought a big house but had no money for furniture. And now years later in 2006 they’re taking her to France. All conditions were normal. A little vibration is standard- no need to be alarmed, yes this I knew, had encountered it before -have a good trip yaadada yadada.

If you’ve ever had chakra work done then you know- it’s kind of a weird sensation. All of sudden there’s vibration at/coming from some section of your body - you can feel it like when someone beats the drum or if you turn the base way up on speakers or how sound reverberates off you at the symphony. One figures you put your hand on that body section and you’ll feel the muscles and tendons producing this vibration except- they’re not. Its kind of like being a drum or sound and for me I got vibration from the throat, but mostly the heart or Anahata maybe because if one were to do my chart, as someone once did- all my elements are air. Though I blamed it on a guy who in the spring 1990 in Alabama wanted to do this heart chakra thing so we’d “always be connected”. Why he’d want to do that with a girl he had nothing but fear and suspicion for I’ll never know but that and what follows I do perceive as being related.

Just before the last day of Islam class prior to the holiday break I was walking towards The Simmon Center‘s main entrance and hear “Maren”.

I look around and there’s Twoie, her cute chameleon seat covers for a light, she was taking her dogs to be boarded and then off to France. I thought about mentioning it but then the light changed, we waved goodbye and I went to class. And then it started doing it again and in class, for most of class. The vibrations coming off/from Anahata weren’t passing they were getting longer and stronger…and I was starting to be concerned. I didn’t know if I should be concerned but now with Twoie gone- and yes in hesitation I missed my window but I didn’t know that at the time.

Fortunately I could talk to my class friend Patricia about it, dual major Religious Studies and Biology, pre-med. Pilates instructor, MBT convert and total animal junkie, my kinda‘ people. We’d had some nice talks; she considered herself an atheist but she was having a hard time maintaining that kind of overarching nihilism. It was a session with a reiki that had opened her up to there being a layer shall we say, or as she said it:

“So she put these cold stones on my back- except they weren’t cold it felt like there was heat coming off of them she gave one for me to touch because I didn’t believe what was happening,” what self respecting biology major would “and they were cold to the touch, so I can’t reject that there is something, there is, I felt it, there‘s something I just know I don‘t know what it is.”

So I knew I’d want to talk to Patricia about this vibration thing because it was well - not behaving in a normal manner. So I waited for Patricia outside after class, she’d been in some debate with our professor who had near proudly announced to the class “I have ADD” which meant fun things for the class like: oh writing down incorrect dates, forgetting what century she was talking about, writing questions that made no sense to anyone, asking questions for class discussions, and exams, that were routinely difficult for anyone to even translate -

“Is that a question?”

“I don’t know” I’d say to study bud.

The woman was a portrait of human disorganization. Problem was I was one of many SNAP students; many of which were already starting to lodge complaints against the professor. Her reviews were legendary - but she came from the Ivy so she could be as incompetent as she wanted and probably get tenure because she could teach a college level class in Islam. Post 911 they were in high demand.

Nearly everyone had cleared out by the time Patricia met me outside.

“I thought you’d have left- thanks for waiting”. We usually walked to our cars together and mine was super close- I’d gotten kick ass parking in front of the building, a minor miracle on St. Phillips street. As I’d waited I’d wondered how to even phrase this: “ I’m vibrating at levels I don‘t feel comfortable with- can you assist me somehow?”

I covered the situation: - massage, Twoie, chakra’s, yeah. Vibrations normal- yeah I know but this different, I think I don’t know - would you feel it please- I’m totally hetero and but this is seeming abnormal. Patricia held her hand out about 5-6 inches away from my chest.

“ you’ll never feel it from there-”

“No,” she said looking a might freaked out herself “I can feel it from here”.

I looked at her like- “this IS a bit much isn’t it?’

“How long has it been doing that?” she asked, like a future doctor.



“A week or so”



“No how long has it been doing THAT?”



I felt momentarily confused.



“It hasn’t been doing that all week!”



“No, no, no it started up again about an hour ago”.



“An hour?“



“Yeah,“ I said not actually liking that my reality was being confirmed, I’d hoped she’d just blow it off like I’d been trying to.



“You should that get that shut down”



“Yeah I was wondering about that”



“No I mean it you should get that shutdown-”



“Yeah I know but Twoie just left for France she’s gone for like-”



We went over how long Twoie would be gone and Patricia’s take was- no get that shut down. And maybe she was right.



“I know someone - the Reiki, here’s my email,” which I liked ‘arrow path’ “I’ll send you her contact information”.



“Okay”



Patricia sent me the reiki chick’s info and I don’t even know that I called her at that time, I really well -like the Counting Crows sang “ I am not worried - I am not overly concerned”. An hour or two after class my heart chakra had stopped vibrating and I’d figured - well maybe that’s the end of it?



I may have been in denial.



Easter Sunday- I went to Folly. Great parking on a parks gold pass- plus no danger of losing my car, a distinct possibility at the time on Sullivan’s. I brought a book and admittedly I don’t remember precisely what order things happened in except that I was vibrating again. I can’t say for certain if that’s what distracted me out of my book or if it was a big shadow from what I assumed was a really big bike kite. Except there were two guys in wetsuits, not windsurfers but some new kinda’ sail? The whole thing felt very surreal for some reason- I might have been having a complex seizure at the same time- no I was definitely having a complex seizure at the same time. Probably triggered by that flick and flutter of light change from the kite - sail….So I’m vibrating and I’m seizing. It was the weirdest thing. Not that there isn’t a perfectly logical explanation.



It just happened that it was Easter Weekend and I tend to be - well Easter Weekend always reminds me of someone. Christ you say? No I try not think about they did to that guy - what they worship themselves (ie: humanity) having been done to him. Stories can be read more than one way and that one reading, that one interpretation- is all that’s allowed. In Islam it’s called “closing the door”, the mechanics are the same.



But I digress. So my heart chakra’s vibrating. I didn’t feel panicky yet, I was still totally fine -seizing and vibrating like a bongo . And yes I did research chakra work and it can lead in rare cases to psychosis all I know is there was some writing in the sky. Which there is a totally reasonable explanation for: practice for a sky writer three dashes and two concentric circles. Nothing weird about it all.



I don’t know why and I don’t ever expect to know and I don’t need to know and don’t know that I’d want to know- but for some reason --- and here’s what does get me: I trusted THAT, I trusted the experience I was having- whatever it was. And okay- maybe that was my first mistake and yes there‘s a very, very, very long list.



Anyway for whatever reason it occurred to me to Goggle him.



I’d given the exercise certain parameters 1 page, 1 hit, that’s it. So I go home. Turn on computer which just had to last until the end of the semester until Best Buy could find whatever was glitching it up . I pulled up google ran a name search “John Mayo” - there are legions of them and as I was confined to page one. I pulled up a guy and was mildly horrified by the eyes. If I’d only clicked on the economics professor, or the faith healer or even “JOHN MAYO IS A LIAR”. But I didn’t, I made an earnest guess- the resume and unfortunately it fit because this set of eyes I didn’t know.



Was I still vibrating oh and any time I say that I mean was my heart chakra vibrating - at that point? I have no idea if I was vibrating or catching a break again. I wrote him a - well for me a brief note sent it and did some research. I did some research because that’s what I do. Brain injury and I was reading - a few pages would take hours but - if you have a problem: research- somewhere there’s an answer. Did the same thing on the heart chakra debacle that was forming.



I found more pictures. And of course I occasionally was vibrating, my computer was being a royal pain in the ass.



What finally motivated me try and get in touch with the reiki, email Twoie and even turn to any shingle up on the web was when I went into a 6-8 hour vibration. That officially freaked me out. And then of course there was the email I didn’t send, something along the lines of : have you had any strange vibrations lately because I’m having an issue- remember when we”. I couldn’t do it “he probably doesn’t even remember”. That was my thought- that and I mean- oh man part of me was really just so incredibly displeased. Last time I see him - I’m high on carbon monoxide- this time I’m fucking vibrating- oh that’s just perfect - oh that’s just fucking great.



And of course that’s just when I became the object of a prank, though it would turn out I was actually being hazed. Once I left the idiot realm I’d just figured it was a thirteen year-old-ish-kid who couldn’t really appreciate the emotional violence of what he’d done. I had a primary suspect even- computer wiz-ish, a serious authority problem- some condition that’s so intense it’s technically a learning disorder-I can‘t remember the proper name for. I didn’t see what came coming at me- or maybe I was in denial about that. But really who suspects they’re gonna get hazed, off campus, by soon to graduate seniors form a school you don’t even attend?



And if the preceding paragraph sounds unlikely- well yeah and so was everything before the preceding paragraph.



You know how coincidences are usually scattered and occur as singularities? happening once every few months or even years, all of sudden they are a couple times a day, every day. Every week- It was like that for the next couple weeks. And I don’t like it when coincidences cluster bomb me, because that’s what it felt like being frickin’ cluster bombed.



And when I went downtown to just escape the other simul-hurricane what was King Street covered in? Hearts. Everywhere you looked, every shop window covered in hearts.. That was the theme you see for Spoleto or Piccolo 2006 and to me seeing all those hearts, even now, even remembering it now all these years it still makes me cry because it‘s just so sad.



At the time, for me, I felt like I was in hell.



So let’s review: I’m vibrating all over the place and for whatever reason or set of reasons I google a guy. And who do I find- not by beloved but some angry white guy- and being such what exactly is there to be all angry about in the first place?



Oh and then I’m officially launched into hell because voila he’s not an artist but working for the NSA, following in his father’s pentagon footsteps and he’s been watching my back because all my ultra liberal letters to Senator Graham and taking a class in Islam has landed me on a watch list. (In George Bush’s America not exactly unlikely. Also not helpful that the last time I’d been in contact with technology everything occurring via wireless wasn’t the stuff of college pranks but more of a Will Smith /Gene Hackman movie. After which of course I hire the one PI in town whose bread and butter client was and has been the entity with which I’m having off campus hazing issues. And my opinions on feminist Islam- oh look that research has disappeared - and oh shit I can’t into my cougar trail account because somebody changed the damn password.





And the guy who wanted to link our heart chakras so we’d always be connected- where’s he? Oh he’s safely tucked away in None-of-This-Happening-Land.



So did I tell him everything?



Noooo.





.





Eventually I stopped vibrating and by the time Twoie came back to town she had a caution about new male clients because I’d been approached not by the thirteen-year-old-prankster but a 22 friggin years old and having a good ol’ time and seemingly on a hunt for mojo nutbar into animal mutilation and cyber hacking.



I think, no I’d definitely told Twoie about ‘Bama previously. She worked on me after a whole league of things that I‘m just plain not going to talk about. As she worked on me something came spilling out of my back, it was cold but it felt hot too at the same time, just poured out of my back. That had been what concerned a reiki I finally talked to, that I’d been wirelessly online with this guy while I was in one those couple of hours heart chakra vibration things.



What came out of my back, I’d never felt anything like that before and I don’t know if even Twoie had. After our last appointment, I wouldn’t go back after not what happened to me but Twoie. She looked me straight in the eyes after she’d poured out whatever out of my back and “I am not afraid of negative energy” but I was afraid for her



After that appointment she wasn’t the same and even the chick she practices with looked up shocked, I mean we were speechless- like stunned at what came out of Twoie’s mouth: a cutting self deprecating- full of self hate remark. You’d have to know Twoie to fully appreciate that. I never let Twoie work on me again though she knows someone who can break any connection.- chick on Folly of all places.



So that’s what I didn’t tell him, that‘s what I‘ve been withholding since 2006, that’s the secret I kept- the secondary or tertiary layer of what went on at that time. Was it a good time to try and integrate his files? No definitely not but after a certain point that hazing might go into killing had me feeling kinda’ pressed for time.



1990, University of Alabama he’d wanted to do something so that “we’d always be connected”. Why he‘d always want to be connected to a girl he had and has nothing but fear and suspicion for I‘ll never know.



I disclosed really the more likely thing that was on my plate at the time; and that which was more immediately pressing and I wasn’t believed so ya’ know why disclose any of the other stuff? And I know not fair and its probably not accurate but the two incidences, simul-hurricanes, they felt related and I blamed him, was furious at him, just furious.



Fair?



No.



True?



Yes



And I guess even all these years later a coincidence hits, and that’s the thing they still feel like hits. And that was really so unlike me; I’d always found them, that phenomena very life affirming, like seeing a rainbow or a butterfly. What happened that summer actually changed my relationship with a phenomena- and I’m not over it yet. I was so scared and overwhelmed and when I turned to him - just bs, bs, bs.



For nearly a year I was under the misimpression that mail took ten business days to get from coast to coast.



Y?



Because he lied to me, which was uber unfair as we were not exactly operating at the same grade level.



Did I lie? Yeah, I didn’t fully disclose and quite frankly why should have I? What possible incentive was there for that? Would I have been more or less likely to be believed?



Less.



Why tell the whole truth if no one’s going to believe you anyway?

anna begins