2.22.2012
Texture’s pressure
What is the exact level of pressure, and perhaps the precise test for…
- but then again does anyone even test or check or find any relevance- is it entirely irrelevant: the ability to feel texture? Not just to see it what your eyes but to be able to feel it with your hands?
Its not as if I didn’t say the words, I even elaborated and repeated a phrase: It feels like I’m operating my hands from very far away…I can’t feel texture anymore.
Said it over and over again.
Said it over and over again?
Okay at least a few times- but how reliably? Did I emphasize what I had just said? Did I check to make sure the doctor understood precisely what I was saying and describing?
I doubt it; I had enough trouble remembering what I had just said or you had just said or anything that when a friend from the theatre dept saw “Finding Nemo” she said “Dora- that’s you!”. We both laughed; it was true and sometimes you just plain better laugh or you’ll never stop crying.
So, did I effectively communicate with my physicians about not being able to feel physically anymore things like texture? Or the delayed reactions to heat?
No, no way as that was beyond my capacity.
A little over ago I saw a neurologist, he put a needle to foot and I remembered that may have happened before. Problem is there’s a big difference between feeling a non distinct pressure and what it is you’re feeling.
Scratchy like wool? Smooth like silk? Or smooth like cotton weave?
Mostly I just felt pressure.
I m not writing this right now and this wasn;t the direction I want/ed to take in the first place.
OPENING:
There’s a curious thing that happened- maybe its true for everyone- I genuinely don’t know.
Close your eyes.
Maybe you don’t have to but it really is easier for me to move my body with my eyes closed otherwise whatever portion or portions of my brain that are trying to manage the visual data stream is generally so taxed that - well anything is easier and less stressful with my eyes closed. I’m constantly sneaking peaks but with my eyes closed overall I’m way more relaxed and able to move my body better (ie: in a more kinetically sound /Feldenkreis-ian manner) It is as if I can’t feel and see at the same time. Actually until the pain and discomfort get my attention- no I can’t do those two things a the same time.
So maybe unlike me you can do this with your eyes open- me I gotta have ‘em closed and discovered this when and as I’ve instituted voluntary blindness.
Hand laying down and resting on a surface. The surface can be your own leg, a desk, the arm of a chair, a person, the coverlet on your bed. Raise your hand. Just hand concentrating on just raising the hand, then maybe or maybe not the entire arm but concentrating on just raising the hand.
This little exercise was truly enlightening for me.
Hand and arm in same laying down supported in rest mode: now lift your arm.
for you the same muscle groups may engage- but not for me a( and I Seriously doubt this kinetic screw up is limited to me or TBIs generally)
After the car crash I began doing everything from the shoulder.
“It feels as if I’m trying to opperate my hands from far, far away,” like I was buried inside a machine- reminded of the scene in Aliens 2, the same type of machine + human units featured in the fourth act of both Avatar and Aliens except the arms on mine were so long, way longer than they should be.
Between that and not being able feel texture for a good five years I feel confident I had nerve damage- actually Dr. E.L, yeah I had it its just nobody seems to think nerve damage is any big deal.
-FYI pressure and texture are not the same thing.
Did I always move my hand through my shoulder first? Was there a time when to move my hand my core would automatically engage first (only body logical).
Texture’s pressure
What is the exact level of pressure, and perhaps the precise test for…
- but then again does anyone even test or check or find any relevance- is it entirely irrelevant: the ability to feel texture? Not just to see it what your eyes but to be able to feel it with your hands?
Its not as if I didn’t say the words, I even elaborated and repeated a phrase: It feels like I’m operating my hands from very far away…I can’t feel texture anymore.
Said it over and over again.
Said it over and over again?
Okay at least a few times- but how reliably? Did I emphasize what I had just said? Did I check to make sure the doctor understood precisely what I was saying and describing?
I doubt it; I had enough trouble remembering what I had just said or you had just said or anything that when a friend from the theatre dept saw “Finding Nemo” she said “Dora- that’s you!”. We both laughed; it was true and sometimes you just plain better laugh or you’ll never stop crying.
So, did I effectively communicate with my physicians about not being able to feel physically anymore things like texture? Or the delayed reactions to heat?
No, no way as that was beyond my capacity.
A little over ago I saw a neurologist, he put a needle to foot and I remembered that may have happened before. Problem is there’s a big difference between feeling a non distinct pressure and what it is you’re feeling.
Scratchy like wool? Smooth like silk? Or smooth like cotton weave?
Mostly I just felt pressure.
I m not writing this right now and this wasn;t the direction I want/ed to take in the first place.
OPENING:
There’s a curious thing that happened- maybe its true for everyone- I genuinely don’t know.
Close your eyes.
Maybe you don’t have to but it really is easier for me to move my body with my eyes closed otherwise whatever portion or portions of my brain that are trying to manage the visual data stream is generally so taxed that - well anything is easier and less stressful with my eyes closed. I’m constantly sneaking peaks but with my eyes closed overall I’m way more relaxed and able to move my body better (ie: in a more kinetically sound /Feldenkreis-ian manner) It is as if I can’t feel and see at the same time. Actually until the pain and discomfort get my attention- no I can’t do those two things a the same time.
So maybe unlike me you can do this with your eyes open- me I gotta have ‘em closed and discovered this when and as I’ve instituted voluntary blindness.
Hand laying down and resting on a surface. The surface can be your own leg, a desk, the arm of a chair, a person, the coverlet on your bed. Raise your hand. Just hand concentrating on just raising the hand, then maybe or maybe not the entire arm but concentrating on just raising the hand.
This little exercise was truly enlightening for me.
Hand and arm in same laying down supported in rest mode: now lift your arm.
for you the same muscle groups may engage- but not for me a( and I Seriously doubt this kinetic screw up is limited to me or TBIs generally)
After the car crash I began doing everything from the shoulder.
“It feels as if I’m trying to opperate my hands from far, far away,” like I was buried inside a machine- reminded of the scene in Aliens 2, the same type of machine + human units featured in the fourth act of both Avatar and Aliens except the arms on mine were so long, way longer than they should be.
Between that and not being able feel texture for a good five years I feel confident I had nerve damage- actually Dr. E.L, yeah I had it its just nobody seems to think nerve damage is any big deal.
-FYI pressure and texture are not the same thing.
Did I always move my hand through my shoulder first? Was there a time when to move my hand my core would automatically engage first (only body logical).
